***If you would like to listen to this article and/or read along, I made an audio version on Soundcloud that you can listen to here.***
Back in 2010 when I took my writing extremely seriously, I would fill my brain with caffeine in the day and my liver with wine at night (and also sometimes in the day, I mean, I’m a writer, come on).
Writing felt so natural to me. I could do it for hours, no matter the time. One night, I literally hung off the side of my bed at 4:30 a.m. to complete an album review that didn’t even have a deadline. I just liked the album that much, and I had something to say about it. Those were the days. But unfortunately, they didn’t last too long.
After several years of battling severe writer’s block (and depression), a few deaths in the family, 2 evictions, and a miscarriage, I lost my passion to write. Life had gotten to me, and that’s like the main thing you can’t let life do to you, right?
It was 2016 where I felt myself at a crossroad. I was just about to throw in the towel and stop trying to succeed as a writer because it felt like everything I did just didn’t work out, even if I put my all into it.
In that year, I lost my passion to write, to get my hair done, to get dressed up, and go out, to honestly just live a normal life. I would look at pictures of my past self and wish to be back in those times when things felt better, or I at least looked better. It was time for a change.
I decided to go back to the basics to capture that 2010 energy that fueled my thirst for life, success, and writing.
Oh and if you notice how many times I use the word “decide” in this post, it’s because life is all about decisions. Nothing gets accomplished without someone making a decision, even if it isn’t you.
My decision to come out of my funk and get my groove back started with a childhood memory. I remembered my cousin telling me when we were kids that one of us had to be like our older cousin Trina when we got older. Trina was about 10 years older than us and she was gorgeous. Not only that, she kept herself up and always looked and smelled amazing.
I remember she came over to my mom’s to visit one day and guys kept honking the horn and yelling out “hey beautiful!” as they drove by. Like bro, she’s with her whole family, but I digress. Her presence was always full of light and laughter, and I remember wanting to be just like that as an adult. She was also very intelligent and went on to have a flourishing career as a nurse in the military.
When my cousin proclaimed that we needed to follow in Trina’s footsteps, some part of me filed that thought away in my mind for the moment I would need it. In 2016, I needed that reminder more than ever, and I was thankful to have kept that memory.
The first thing I did to get my groove back was to get my soul right.
I got more into spirituality, started praying more, and thanking God throughout the day. If this sounds familiar, you may have heard me speak about doing the inner work in my article about why I left my hometown of Flint, Michigan.
I believe that doing the inner work is the basis of truly getting your life together. I feel like there’s no authentic beautiful appearance or lifestyle without a beautiful spirit at the root of it. And that’s what I wanted: to be beautiful inside and out, in all facets, in every way. I wanted to have my shit together, and so “Operation: Be Like Trina” was underway.
I started exercising and cleaning up my diet, getting my hair done regularly, getting pedicures and waxes, investing in quality hygiene and makeup products. I started looking better. I knew this because I started getting a lot more attention online when I would post pictures.
I also started to get more stares and compliments while I was out and about. I know it sounds shallow, but the attention made me feel good and made me want to go further in my Trina journey.
It was 2017 when I decided that it was time to really challenge myself as a writer and build up my career. I enrolled into an Associate’s program to expand my knowledge in business while also sharpening my writing and vocabulary skills. I ended up earning that degree as well as a certificate in small business and entrepreneurship.
With my new look and achievements in place, it felt like I was back in 2010 but better. By 2019, I felt like the plan to be like Trina had worked, but it led me to be my actual self. I became the woman I am supposed to be when I try.
Somewhere between 2011 and 2016, I had stopped trying and lost the vision of who I truly was. I’m thankful to have found that vision again.
So there it is, the story of how I got my groove back. I’m still moving and grooving, too! I feel better about myself and my life now, all because I decided to make a change for the better.
If you’re in a funk right now in life and feel like you’ve lost yourself along the way, I want you to know that you don’t have to stay in that funk. You have all the tools inside of you to build up a new and improved version of yourself. It all starts with just getting in the groove of getting your groove back.
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